i am nikhil

nikhil's muzings

happyness @ 20 lpa

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Der Verrückte Diamant. The Crazy Diamond. seems like its a bit hazy these days.

A thin invisible veil seems to be stretched across my vision. it seems to affect everything. how things seem to be, how they feel. like a slow poison seeping in through my very skin albeit really slowly. i am supposed to be doing a little soul searching due certain recent events, namely, the extension of my stay at my alma mater till the end of calendar year 2008.

i am told i need to be fearless.to find my dashed self confidence again, and start believing in myself again. i need to become the guy i was again. i need to start thinking again.as i was telling Snowy earlier today, this bit came to me earleir on,during my trip back to hostel.

Me, a simple guy, with a simple uncomplicated needs. enough money. books.music.movies.computer games and a good gaming rig.a gal.time for wasting on all of above.a not too frustrating job.there. i dont need perfection. the above will do. i see at the very least 5 years before i get them all to my satisfaction.now, given my slight understanding of how things go around in this duniya, (& how i end up paying for phone services i don’t subscribe to) i come to the conclusion, that in terms of the standard of living today, the above defined ‘Happyness’ translates to a pay packet of 20 lakh big ones a year. INR.that takes care of all the tax issues et al. yes, i am challenged when it comes to sizes. clothing, eating and thinking. Large, Xtra Large & Jumbo only. can’t help it.anyway.this is the part where the bulb lights up in my head.

20 lpa, to use the current day job-market lingo.point is, what the hell makes ME worth the 20 huge ones? right now. right here.what do i have to offer? would i pay myself that much in my own firm, given where i stand and what i am today? this is where the soul searching effectively starts (and ends).

technically, this is the closest i guess i have come to resolving something at the beginning of the year, for the entire year’s duration. it’s wake the effing hell up, smell the coffee, chug it down, and send a dark chocolate to check up on it.thus, being sufficiently roused, clear up all the pending mess that is lying around you.the flab.think.the papers.the books.the music.the movies.the prep material.the quizzes.get it over with.THEN, start something. can’t get simpler than that. let’s get to work.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you:
not as the world giveth, give I unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

goodnight kiddo.

—————-
Listening to: Yann Tiersen – Sur Le Fil

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Written by iNKV

January 4, 2008 at 20:13

Posted in Uncategorized

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