The Crazy Diamond

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Very Short Stories

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33 writers. 5 designers. 6-word science fiction.

We’ll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words (“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”) and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Dozens of our favorite auteurs put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his (“God said, ‘Cancel Program GENESIS.’ The universe ceased to exist.”), but the rest are concise masterpieces.

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
William Shatner

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
Eileen Gunn

Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
David Brin

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
Joss Whedon

Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
Stan Lee

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
Alan Moore

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
Margaret Atwood

His penis snapped off; he’s pregnant!
Rudy Rucker

From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
Gregory Maguire

Internet “wakes up?” Ridicu -
no carrier.
Charles Stross

With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
Frank Miller

Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
Steven Meretzky

“Cellar?” “Gate to, uh … hell, actually.”
Ronald D. Moore

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
Vernor Vinge

It cost too much, staying human.
Bruce Sterling

We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
James Patrick Kelly

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
Rockne S. O’Bannon

I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
Stephen Baxter

1940: Young Hitler! Such a cantor!
Michael Moorcock

Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
Richard Powers

I’m dead. I’ve missed you. Kiss … ?
Neil Gaiman

The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
Kevin Smith

Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
Howard Waldrop

To save humankind he died again.
Ben Bova

We went solar; sun went nova.
Ken MacLeod

Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!”
Paul Di Filippo

“I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”
Howard Chaykin

Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
Stephen R. Donaldson

Broken heart, 45, WLTM disabled man.
Mark Millar

TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
Harry Harrison

Tick tock tick tock tick tick.
Neal Stephenson

Easy. Just touch the match to
Ursula K. Le Guin

Special Web-only edition: We were unable to include these 59 stories in the print magazine.

New genes demand expression — third eye.
Greg Bear

K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 – Closed Casket
Richard K. Morgan

WORLD’S END. Sic transit gloria Monday.
Gregory Benford

Epitaph: He shouldn’t have fed it.
Brian Herbert

Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties.
Cory Doctorow

Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
Robert Jordan

Bush told the truth. Hell froze.
William Gibson

whorl. Help! I’m caught in a time
Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel

Nevertheless, he tried a third time.
James P. Blaylock

God to Earth: “Cry more, noobs!”
Marc Laidlaw

Help! Trapped in a text adventure!
Marc Laidlaw

Thought I was right. I wasn’t.
Graeme Gibson

Lost, then found. Too bad.
Graeme Gibson

Three to Iraq. One came back.
Graeme Gibson

Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one?
David Brin

Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
David Brin

Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot.
David Brin

Temporal recursion. I’m dad and mom?
David Brin

Time Avenger’s mistaken! It wasn’t me…
David Brin

Democracy postponed. Whence franchise? Ask Diebold…
David Brin

Cyborg seeks egg donor, object ___.
David Brin

Deadline postponed. Five words enough…?
David Brin

Metrosexuals notwithstanding, quiche still lacks something.
David Brin

Brevity’s virtue? Wired saves adspace. Subscribe!
David Brin

Death postponed. Metastasized cells got organized.
David Brin

Microsoft gave us Word. Fiat lux?
David Brin

Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower.
David Brin

Singularity postponed. Datum missing. Query Godoogle?
David Brin

Please, this is everything, I swear.
Orson Scott Card

I saw, darling, but do lie.
Orson Scott Card

Osama’s time machine: President Gore concerned.
Charles Stross

Sum of all fears: AND patented.
Charles Stross

Ships fire; princess weeps, between stars.
Charles Stross

Mozilla devastates Redmond, Google’s nuke implicated.
Charles Stross

Will this do (lazy writer asked)?
Ken MacLeod

Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd.
Eileen Gunn

WIRED stimulates the planet: Utopia blossoms!
- Paul Di Filippo

Clones demand rights: second Emancipation Proclamation.
- Paul Di Filippo

MUD avatars rebel: virtual Independence Day.
- Paul Di Filippo

We crossed the border; they killed us.
Howard Waldrop

H-bombs dropped; we all died.
Howard Waldrop

Your house is mine: soft revolution.
Howard Waldrop

Warskiing; log; prop in face.
Howard Waldrop

The Axis in WWII: haiku! Gesundheit.
Howard Waldrop

Salinger story: three koans in fountain.
Howard Waldrop

Finally, he had no more words.
- Gregory Maguire

There were only six words left.
- Gregory Maguire

In the beginning was the word.
- Gregory Maguire

Commas, see, add, like, nada, okay?
- Gregory Maguire

Weeping, Bush misheard Cheney’s deathbed advice.
- Gregory Maguire

Corpse parts missing. Doctor buys yacht.
Margaret Atwood

Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved.
Margaret Atwood

He read his obituary with confusion.
Steven Meretzky

Time traveler’s thought: “What’s the password?”
Steven Meretzky

I win lottery. Sun goes nova.
Steven Meretzky

Steve ignores editor’s word limit and
Steven Meretzky

Leia: “Baby’s yours.” Luke: “Bad news…”
Steven Meretzky

Parallel universe. Bush, destitute, joins army.
Steven Meretzky

Dorothy: “Fuck it, I’ll stay here.”
Steven Meretzky

From Very Short Stories in WIRED

Written by gryphusnick

January 10, 2010 at 03:15

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Bright Side

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October 26, 2009 at 18:54

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Year 25

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October 21, 2009 at 12:48

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And Another Thing . . .

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And Another Thing . . .

I had resolved not to buy another book this year.
And then I came across this.
#42 versus #willpower.

It was inevitable.

Sorry Mom.

-from inkv’s posterous

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October 19, 2009 at 16:25

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The Conversation Prism

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via Brian Solis

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October 15, 2009 at 10:37

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Can You Be a Web Designer

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tipped by the genius @mossyblog

via @manan

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October 12, 2009 at 20:17

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Infographic: the best movies of all time – mydh’s posterous

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October 7, 2009 at 21:59

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Warren Ellis » Wander

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October 7, 2009 at 21:46

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The Twitter decision flow chart – Holy Kaw!

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October 7, 2009 at 19:46

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How to finally understand “Total Eclipse of the Heart” – Holy Kaw!

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October 7, 2009 at 19:45

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ThinkGeek :: Universal Heritage Poster

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The most condensed history of the universe

Zaphod Beeblebrox, when faced with the total-perspective vortex (an utterly complete view of the the totality of the entire universe, and his relative significance thereto) should have gone insane. A normal mind would have been boggled by how tiny he was in comparison, but we’re talking about Zaphod for Zarquon’s sake. He was quite pleased with his place in the universe, and walked away a happier man.

You can have your own “snapshot view” of the universe with the Universal Heritage Poster! 13.7 billion years condensed into a space merely 39 inches by 27 inches – and you can look at the entire thing without going mad! From the big-bang, through the evolution of species, the rise and fall of empires and nation-states, secular philosophies, to the present day.

Granted, it is unable to predict future events – after all, it’s only a zarking poster!

Written by gryphusnick

October 7, 2009 at 16:58

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ThinkGeek :: Plush Beating Heart

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Spawn of Teddy Bear Autopsy
When it comes to true romance, nothing says “I Love You” like a gift from the heart. Now you can express your feelings of affection with this anatomically correct plush beating heart. Simply shake the heart and it starts beating and pulsating in your hand. It’s just like the real thing… but without all that messy blood.
I love you!

Your friends will be oddly fascinated and repulsed by this animated stuffed body organ. Cuddle up with the plush beating heart and it will love you back, just don’t let your brain and liver get jealous.

Written by gryphusnick

October 7, 2009 at 16:55

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Evolution (Burning Man time lapses)

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October 6, 2009 at 23:21

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